Is your word an instrument of healing?

Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.
—Ephesians 4:29, Good News Translation

Do you recognize any of these statements? Have you spoken any of these words? They have been called, “Famous American Fibs.”

The check is in the mail.
I’ll start my diet tomorrow.
We service what we sell.
Give me your number and the doctor will call you right back.
Money cheerfully refunded.
One size fits all.
This offer limited to the first 100 people who call in.
Your luggage isn’t lost, it’s only misplaced.
Leave your resume and we’ll keep it on file.
This hurts me more than it hurts you.
I just need five minutes of your time.
Your table will be ready in a few minutes.
Open wide, it won’t hurt a bit.
Let’s have lunch sometime.
It’s not the money, it’s the principle.

A mere perusal of the list is guaranteed to make us smile … and feel uncomfortable. Smile because we not only recognize these statements; we also know they’re generally untrue. And feel uncomfortable not merely because we recognize them, but because we have spoken them ourselves. The list serves to remind us of the importance of our words.

In the section of Ephesians in which the above passage appears, the apostle Paul is addressing the power of our words. He calls followers of Jesus to speak to truth, to not give anger a foothold in their lives, to stop shouting or using insults, and to be kind and tender-hearted with each other. It is in such a context that the above statement — a statement that calls us to build each other up, to help each other — appears. His words make clear that one of the most important ways to do that is to use our words as healing instruments and not as weapons.

Who among us does not recognize the truth of Paul’s words? Our words can hurt or our words can heal. Our words can help or our words can hinder. Our words can build up or our words can tear down. There is undeniable power in our words.

No wonder Paul says: Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words. Why should we do that? Because such words build up and provide what is needed in the lives of others. And, if we do that, how will it affect others? What you say will do good to those who hear you.

Maybe it was Pauline concepts such as this that caused St. Francis of Assisi to once say: “Preach the gospel always. When necessary, use words.”

Who will be the first person today to notice that you have made a choice to use your words to build others up and not to tear them down?

—Randy Roberts, DMin, LMFT, is vice president for spiritual life and mission at Loma Linda University Health.