Restoring unity: navigating interpersonal conflicts with grace

“I plead with Euodia, and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the Book of Life.” —Philippians 4:2-3 (NIV)

How’s the health of your relationships? Maintaining healthy interpersonal communication relationships requires significant investment in emotional capital, time, vulnerability, and grace. What happens when there is inevitably a disagreement or disappointment?

Sometimes there is estrangement or periods of silence, yet one or both parties extend a bid for connection that serves as a spark to rekindle the relationship. The reuniting conversation would involve both parties addressing the causes of the conflict, which allows a movement toward restoration. Sometimes, the path to reunification may require the support of a mediator or counselor.

In the letter to the Philippians, the apostle Paul lovingly addresses two women in the church, Euodia and Syntyche, urging them to agree in the Lord. Though the specific causes of their disagreement are not disclosed, we can glean valuable insights about the power of unity, mission, and the importance of mediation from this passage that applies to our lives today.

The Power of Reconciliation: The rupture in this relationship significantly impacted the church’s mission in Philippi. Paul earnestly pleads with Euodia and Syntyche to set aside their differences and find common ground in their faith. Reconciliation strengthens the church, fosters love and fellowship, and amplifies the love of God. Resolving relational conflicts reinforces our organization’s capacity to remain on the mission, living out our values in each interaction as healthcare educators, providers, and support staff for Loma Linda University Health.

Pursuing a Common Mission: Paul reminds both women and the gathering in Philippi that the church’s mission necessitates aligning thoughts, attitudes, and actions with the teachings of Jesus. Agreeing requires humility, grace, and a willingness to lay down personal agendas and disagreements for the sake of Christ and His gospel. Similarly, as stewards of the mission and vision of LLUH, we can prayerfully seek the mind of Christ and grow in wisdom, discernment, and the ability to navigate conflicts with a godly perspective.

Extending a Helping Hand: Paul also pleads with a fellow believer, his “true companion,” to help Euodia and Syntyche, highlighting the importance of community and accountability. We are called to support and encourage one another, particularly during discord. Helping demonstrates God’s love, facilitates reconciliation, and contributes to the church’s unity. These principles are also pivotal for the relational health of our organization with our diverse ethnicities, identities, religious/spiritual affiliations, and abilities.

An Invitation: Take a moment to reflect on your relationships. Are there any conflicts or disagreements that need resolution? Pray and seek the Lord’s guidance in pursuing reconciliation, unity, and extending grace. Consider reaching out to someone needing support or encouragement in working through interpersonal conflicts. Should you need support working toward reconciliation, consider contacting a chaplain, our employee spiritual care coordinator, or someone who provides spiritual support.

Remember that our ability to continue the teaching and healing ministry of Jesus reflects our willingness to allow the transforming power of Christ to work in and through us.

—Dilys Brooks, PhD, BCC, is campus chaplain for Loma Linda University.