Join me in this challenge?

Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. —Romans 14:1 NLT

Have you ever known someone who simply enjoyed arguing?

I have a friend who grew up in a family where they would regularly choose a topic and a “side” and then they would argue. When they ran out of arguments, they would trade sides and see if they could come up with anything further. They didn’t particularly care about the case they were presenting; they just enjoyed the discipline of fine-tuning their debating skills.

Unfortunately, we are living in an age where most people no longer can argue for or against something without emotion. “There are two sides to every argument until you take one,” said the late comedian Milton Berle, and most of us have become quite attached to our opinions! Whether we are talking about another person’s driving habits, political views, or theological positions, we get quite heated in the way we describe them — especially if their opinions differ from ours. We no longer share with others to learn and grow, but to try and drill our point home.

I wonder if the apostle Paul got weary of hearing people argue their different points of view or tearing others down because of their diet, lifestyle choices, or some inconsequential matter. For someone whose life had been completely changed by Jesus, he must have despaired at the petty arguing he heard. He begged the Romans to accept others “who are weak” and not argue with them. The truth is, he is talking to each one of us. Because when we take a stand (no matter which side we are on), we take the position of strength, not weakness. And we are arguing with someone who has also taken a position of strength.

Paul’s appeal is to every one of us to have grace, patience, and understanding with others. Truthfully, I’m tired of needing to write about this topic. I’m committing right now to start asking questions, to imagine what it’s like for the other person, to try and understand another’s viewpoint, to quit arguing. Would you join me?

—Kathy McMillan, MA, is director of Employee Spiritual Care for Loma Linda University Medical Center.